North Korea Threatens To Target “Liberal-Governed” Cities In Nuclear Attack


North Korea – In a press conference addressing the prospects of nuclear war, one of North Korea’s top political advisers made the following statement:

“Trump’s leadership is unconventional, but he resurfaced a strong ferocity that has been lost in politics. We respect his gusto, and in keeping in line with the North Korean vision, we would be remiss if we attacked conservative entities first, as opposed to liberal governed cities.”

Though no direct threat was made, it was implied by omission. Since the comment was made early this morning, analysts at the White House speculate no American is in immediate danger, but they are urging liberal cities to be on guard.

Jeff Anderson, a White House correspondent said the following “Washington is jammed up on prospect of nuclear war right now. It’s a hot and aggressive topic. But there have been no statements made about this being an immediate threat. It is only exaggerated rhetoric, but it does have the possibility of escalating into something more”

America and North Korea are teetering on the edge of nuclear war that could be the end of humanity. Increased rhetoric and stained egos will only contribute to more tensions in foreign affairs.

Joe Malone reports

Joe Malone’s writing has appeared in esquire, the New York Times, and CNN. 


Man Who Signed Up For “Seal Squad” Fitness Program Thought He Was Joining A Branch Of The Military


Rudolf Sankins, 22, of Brooklyn NY, signed up for a new and intensive work out program called “Seal Squad.” The program is part of a burgeoning industry of work out plans that get members fit through rugged and unconventional strategies. Seal Squad echoes the style of Spartan race and Crossfit.

Undecided in what he wanted to do in life, Sankins signed up for Seal Squad at his local community college, mistaking them for the Navy Seals. “They had a stand in the student center with flyers and posters,” Sankins said, “I thought they were recruiting…They didn’t brand themselves like a fitness program I can tell you that”

Sankins paid $40 to become a member with the Seal Squad, but thought he was paying an application fee.

Connecticut Man Trades Edge Fitness Points For Stock Options


CT –

Joe Powell, 22, of Seymour Connecticut acquired over ten million points at the Edge fitness center in Hamden (approximately $250,000 worth of Edge fitness shakes.)

He achieved this through a legal glitch in the Edge rewards system. Contractually the Edge is obligated to reimburse him through their rewards for all his points. With ten million points he threatened to purchase 50,000 shakes which would ultimately pose a huge financial burden on the company. Edge CEO John Rappaport spoke about the issue “We realize that the glitch was legal and fair game. Instead of shakes or fitness consultations, we are offering Joe valuable stock options in the company.”

Joe is considering the offer with his lawyer.

Google Earth Lead Developer Believes World Is Flat


CA –

Greg Oikinson, 29, of Palo Alto has been a senior developer at Google for seven years. He in in charge of strategy and operations at Google Earth. Leading a team of 10 engineers, Wilkinson is tasked with overseeing the general functions of the Google Earth software.

Last week Wilkinson Tweeted a post that echoed undertones of flat earth conspiracy: “Everything in this world is theory. From black holes to the roundness of the earth.” His post raised eyebrows in the tech world, but it wasn’t until this morning that his peers’ suspicions were confirmed following his most recent post denouncing modern science, Google, and NASA.

“As a lead Google developer for over seven years it is my responsibility to finally address our terrestrial landscape”

He linked to his blog in which he stated “After years of diligent study and intent work I have concluded there is no way the world can be spherical. Given how our data at Google has never matched up to NASA’s data, and given how modern technology simply cannot measure the magnitude of such a planet, we can never really be guaranteed the earth is spherical.  The truth is, this idea is so ingrained in our culture that no one questions it. Well, I’m questioning it.”

Following his tweet and blog post, Google suspended Wilkinson to handle the situation internally.