ISIS To Hire 25 American Interns Out Of Boston

25Boston MA – “With diminishing Production Assistant jobs and a slowing market for video work, this opportunity struck me as a great way to travel the world and get some experience,” says Tommy DeVito, Junior at Emerson College.

ISIS is the first terrorist organization to implement marketing into their corporate structure. It is well known that ISIS puts in a  great deal of work producing professional level propaganda. “They are adapting to the digital age,” says Billy Batts, professor of terror research at Harvard University, “they use professional equipment for videos, professional editing software, social media outlets, email campaigns, even SEO. They run a  legitimate operation similar to most American businesses. Minus the terror and killing, I could see why naive college students are attracted to the opportunity.”

ISIS greased through sub-Reddits and Facebook groups using monikers and sock accounts to hand pick 25 Americans to outsource their marketing campaigns. At first they targeted Muslim Americans, but were met with disdain and outrage. The most responsive group were young white men who had trouble finding a job.

“Look,” said DeVito, “I am not doing the killing, I am not contributing to the terror, I am just acting as a liaison between an organization, and a country. I have no shame in doing this. If anything, I am doing the world a favor by showing everyone what ISIS is about”

This kind of delusional thinking stems from unemployment, and hopelessness. “It is characteristic of the Millenial generation” says Batts, “its hard to find a job today so they’ll take all the experience they can get. If it were my kid, I’d disown him. Stay unemployed. Don’t work for ISIS”

Staff

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