Yuppies from previous generations were easily recognizable. Rolex watches, Sports Blazers, Car Phones, and copy of the New York Times tucked under the arm were all signs that pointed to Yuppie. Today, Yuppies face the dawn of a new age, and as a result, they are hardly as distinguishable as they were in the past. Thankfully, our staff has been working tirelessly in examining newer Yuppie forms. We took our knowledge of the Millennial Yuppie, and threw together a list that will guide you in determining which of your friends are Yuppies.
*For those of you who don’t know, “Yuppie” stands for “Young Urban Professional.” This list applies to people who are in the age group of 20-32 years old.
1. Your friend listens to “Ted Talks”
Ted Talks showcase a narrow variety of seminars usually discussing trite questions that compliment the viewers naivety like “How to be a successful procrastinator.” Anyone who is diligently keeping up to date on Ted Talks is probably trying to derive some career building strategies from the seminars. Now, someone who is in a career with room for growth…is probably a Yuppie.
2. You overheard your friend say “Close the Goldberg deal” on the phone
If your friend is closing deals on his free time, he is probably involved in a highly demanding job. A lot of jobs can be demanding…But if your friend is closing deals, then he probably holds a professional position. I’d say he’s a Yuppie.
3. Your friend wears a Peacoat
The Peacoat is a central component of the Yuppie uniform.
4. Your friend participates in 5ks, color runs, or community walks
Part of the Yuppie’s MO is to be active and social. 5k marathons, color runs, and community fundraisers are a perfect combination of each for the Yuppie.
6. Your friend appreciates opinions that spark a “dialogue”
Your friend doesn’t necessarily agree with your opinion, but he claims to appreciate that it initiates a dialogue. Yuppies use this terminology all too often. “Society needs to engage in this dialogue” they’ll say. It just means that they really don’t agree with you, but, being a professional, they are compelled to acknowledge something positive in your opinion.
7. Your friend eats Keenwa
If you’re angered at the incorrect spelling of “Keenwa”, then you yourself are probably a Yuppie. Yuppies eat this grain religiously. They find a way to incorporate it into every dish, like it is some miracle food. In fact, they actually call it a miracle food. Point is…its nasty without ketchup.
8. Your friend reads interesting articles in the Times
Yuppies love everything about New York except Donald Trump. They love the New Yorker, the Times, NPR, etc. Every topic you discuss with a Yuppie will always lead to a New York Times reference. “Ah, I actually just read an interesting article about that in the Times” they’ll say.
9. Your friend smugly volunteers at the soup kitchen once a week
Modern Yuppies are obsessed with keeping their humanity in tact. Yuppies wont brag about it either. The way Yuppies brag is by mentioning things in casual conversation. “You know, I met a nice young man where I volunteer today” they’ll say, or “The people at the soup kitchen are so spirited. They are truly a pleasure”
10. Your friend bought extra space on Google Drive
Yuppies need a lot of digital space for work. If your friend bought space for his Google drive, he is probably a Yuppie.