Easter Basket, or Shalach Manos?

Having trouble identifying those mysterious packages on your doorstep? Can’t decipher if the gifts are celebrating Easter or Purim?

Here are some comprehensive steps in discerning the differences between Easter baskets and Shalach Manos.

1. Have you received ‘Must’ gum in your basket?

must gum.jpg

‘Must’ gum is the go to identifier of Shalach Manos. If you find a package of Must gum in your gift, you can end your investigation, because you have received Shalach Manos.

2. Is there a chocolate bunny in your basket?

chocolate rabbit

Often times chocolate bunnies signify an Easter basket. But, depending on how ostracized your Jewish community is, a Frum person may mistake Bunnies as a representation of the biblical commandment “Be fruitful and multiply.” Be careful with the bunnies. Try checking to see if the bunny is wearing an ironic Yarmulke. Some Shalach Manos have evolved to incorporate humor and irony.

3. Check your bag for poorly wrapped Marble cake, seven layer cake, or Babka

marble cake

Stale Marble cake poorly held together by clumping Saran wrap is a definite indicator that you have received Shalach Manos.

4. You chipped a tooth on one of these cookies, and can’t figure out which religion to blame

easter cookies.jpg

Blame the Christians. These elaborate pebbles can be soft and delightful right out of the oven. But after sitting on your porch for several hours they have hardened with diamond like toughness. They are Italian Easter cookies, and they have kept dentists in business since Jesus.

5. Someone folded a glob of Smuckers into a disfigured triangle and put it in the same bag with the Lemonheads. 

Hamantashin

They’re called Hamantaschens, and no, the Jews don’t even bother wrapping them. They just dump ’em in a used shopping bag from a Monsey grocery store and expect you to fish through jelly covered Nosh to get to them.

6. Someone accidentally dropped an entire egg into their dough and left it in the bread

egg bread.jpg

It wasn’t an accident, this was tactfully planned. Christians have discovered the flavorful confluence of sweet bread, and a hearty egg to go with it. After finishing your sprinkled desert, you now have the option of disarraying your taste buds with a gelatinous sphere of salt.

7. You can play Hebrew scrabble with your cookies

aleph bits.jpg

These are found in Shalach Manos. Similar to Aplha-Bits, these are uniquely called Aleph-bets. They taste as holy as they look.

8. You are having fun positioning tiny candy bunnies to make them look like they are humping

peeps

They are called Peeps. They are the classic markings of Easter. Since their structure is so adherent, a lot of people melt them down into makeshift glue.

9. You got sushi, or candy made to look like sushi

sushi.jpg

Sushi is an unexplained fetish in the Jewish world. No one is quite sure why, but it has been trending in recent years.

10. Gefilte fish? or dish sponge?

gefilte fish.jpg

Gefilte fish is like the hot dog of the fish industry. It is made of unused fish parts industrially pulverized into a a sausage that is then cut up into little slices and served with a carrot garnish. If you’re used to it, it can be quite tasty. If you live healthily you may want to ask your doctor if it is right for you. Either way, Gefilte fish only shows up in Shalach Manos.

 

 

We hope this cleared things up. Happy Purim, Happy Easter.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s