Jackson, MI – Tony Stewart, pictured above, is known to be a chronic J- walker. He has various citations against him, and his next offense will result in an arrest. On Monday morning, Stewart was crossing a cross walk when he was suddenly thrust-ed thirty feet into the street after being hit by a Dodge Hemi. The man who was driving the truck, Bill Regan, claimed that Stewart was J- walking.With a record like Stewart’s, it is easy to believe that he was J- walking, however, traffic cameras show that Stewart had the right of way. Left with a decomposing argument, and very little money, Regan hired one of Mississippi’s shadiest Lawyers, Tom Bronson. This morning, Bronson released a statement that pertains to the argument he is going to be using in defense of Regan: “My client’s truck has bold letters embossed on the front of his vehicle. Those letters read ‘Dodge’. Yes, it is an expression of the manufacturer, however, suffice it to say, Stewart saw the word ‘Dodge’ and decided to stay in place regardless. The logo can also be taken as a command, dodge the truck if it is going to fast. Thank you”
The argument is not boding well in court, and has received vast criticism, most comical, from attorneys all over America.