Colony of fire ants discovered living under mans scalp

fue             Newberg SC – Mark Tatro has been suffering from severe dandruff for over ten years. He has tried nearly every dandruff preventative remedy, but for some reason, his dandruff continues to get worse. Earlier this week Tatro brought his problem to a dermatologist who immediately suspected that Tatro might be suffering from an ailment more complex than dandruff. The doctor suspected that Tatro has a parasite called Norwegian Scabies living in his scalp. Upon further inspection, it became apparent that Tatro has red fire ants living under his skin. The ants colonized on the top of Tatro’s forehead, and have been living there for nearly ten years. Tatro has reported that his forehead is constantly itchy and irritating. Dr. Bonoso, Tatro’s dermatologist, found that under Tatro’s scalp there resides several hundred ants. Etymologist Litch Finters made the following statement: ” Tatro’s scalp has been infiltrated by ants. This is profoundly uncommon, and one wonders how ants can even survive under a scalp. If you look towards the edges of the infiltrated area, you see blue spots that fringe off of the sides. In land colonies it is common for ants to designate certain areas where the colony ants can relieve themselves, that is to say, where they can poop. Ant poop is characteristically blue, which describes the outer blue hue of the infiltrated area.” Tatro is receiving emergency surgery later this evening, and Dr. Bonoso is confident about the procedure.

– Staff

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