Surgical miscommunication results in man receiving unwanted genitalia

ugly man               Fort-Colburt, CA – Thomas Joplin arrived at the Saint Thomas Center of Surgical Prowess in western California early Friday morning for what was supposed to be a procedural mole removal. The next morning, however, Joplin came out of his anesthetic haze surprised and flustered. “The first thing I did was thank God” Joplin said, “I thanked God I was alive. The next thing I remember doing was looking down at my inner right thigh to see how it looked with my mole removed. To my surprise, the mole was still there. I did notice swelling in that area and upon further investigation I found that my original genitalia had been replaced with the genitalia of a female. I thought I was hallucinating.” Joplin would soon find out that he was not hallucinating. What had happened to Joplin is what Doctors are calling “Mal-Communicative Accidents” or in other words “Medical oopsies.” Such a happening occurs when two separate surgeries are swapped by accident, primarily due to the failing of medical office staff. Dr. Franco, Chief of Affairs at STCSP, had no comment on the matter, but did tell us that “Things like this rarely happen.” Sally Jonstone, the man who was supposed to receive the gender transformation, was also quite confused. “I woke up with a penis, and I was astounded” Jonstone said, “I thought my surgeon was trying to send me a message, you know? We went through all the paperwork, and we were ready to go. When I woke up after the surgery, my surgeon said to me ‘you should feel beautiful now’. I thought he was trying to tell me that I should feel beautiful just the way I am. Because of this experience I reevaluated my surgery and decided not to go through with it any further.” Jonstone also told us that even though he knows it was coincidental that he did not receive his surgery, he is glad that he still has his penis, and that he is taking this as a sign from God.

The story gets even more bizarre, as Joplin has since come to terms with his identity as a woman, and says this experience made him appreciate his femininity. Joplin disclosed to us that he likes being a woman more than he likes being a man. “It just feels right.” he concluded, “I am forever grateful.”

-Staff

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